I hate this!

I was sitting in the church observing as people went down to the alter weeping. I was totally uncomfortable with this outward display of emotion. My husband liked to visit different churches, and, of course, I went with him; but I didn't necessarily like it.

"Don't these people have any self respect!" This is what I was thinking the first time I felt like I heard the Holy Spirit speak to me. This is what I heard Him say,"Sarah, you are pridefully sitting in judgement over my children. I want you to come to the alter and confess your sin of pride."

"No," I thought,"This can't be God." Whenever I feel like the Holy Spirit is directing me to do something,  I always try to check it out with my husband. On this occasion I felt surly my husband would agree with me that it had simply been a stray thought. I leaned over and whispered in his ear. When he whispered back,"Sounds like God wants to deal with your pride," I thought, "Oh no Steve is deceived too!"

I have no idea what the preacher preached on that day. I was completely caught up in my wrestling match with the idea of going to the alter . Surely, I reasoned, this was not something God wanted me to do. I didn't really belong here. This wasn't my church. This wasn't the way I chose to worship. Finally, I came up with a solution. If  I ever came back to this church again, and if God reminded me about going to the alter, then I would know the thought had come from Him and I would obey. I felt safe, since my husband was a preacher with his own church.

Months went by. I had completely forgotten about that church. We had a friend who had been invited to sing. We went to support her. I was stunned when I settled in the pew only to discover that I was back at THAT church and my conversation with God picked up seamlessly where it had ended months before. When this happened, I knew it was no longer a question of "if" I was being prompted by the Holy Spirit, it was now a question of obedience.

Before when I was at the church I had wrestled with the question if  what I was thinking was from God; now I was simply wrestling with my pride. Once more I was so consumed with my own struggles that I wasn't paying attention to what was happening around me.

I stepped into the aisle not realizing that there were two young men with trumpets behind me. They began to play and the church began to sing, "We will obey Him, We will obey Him, We will obey Him, Hallelujah." That did it. Full loss of dignity. I ran up to the alter. Suddenly I was surrounded by people praying for me, thanking God I had chosen obedience.

James 4:6 God opposes the proud  but he gives grace to the humble.