The scum is rising to the surface

When I moved to the farm I began making jam. This was a new experience for me. I added sugar to the fruit then put it in a pan on the stove and turned up the heat. I was amazed at the amount of scum that would rise to the surface. By the time I scraped all the scum off I wondered if anything would be left in the saucepan. This is how I felt the first time I took in someone who was homeless.

I always thought I was a nice person. Even when I was a little girl my nick name was"Saint Sarah". I'm not sure if that was meant as a good thing or a bad thing but I took it as a good thing. I wanted to be good  I wanted to be nice, that's why it was so hard when I began to see a different side of me emerging.

Anger,selfishness, and in general a lack of love began to rise to the surface.  I started to look around at other people who were trying to serve God in a self sacrificing manner. How did they do it? How did they keep these bad feelings away, what was their methodology? What I found out was that my problem wasn't feeling it was being.

God had used the friction of opening my home to expose the sin that was already there. I thought my problem was being caused by having an extra person in my house but in reality it only exposed the sin that was already in my heart.

I didn't realize it at the time but I had seen myself as a savior, someone who would come in and make things right. I would redeem a bad situation. Instead, bubbling up to the top was all this sin in my own life and I like the sauce pan on the stove could not remove the scum on my own.

I began to pray,"Lord, the scum is rising to the surface please scrape it off." I needed a Savior and a
Redeemer. I wish I could say that it was a once in a lifetime experience but that would be a lie. Because I have a Savior and a Redeemer I have this assurance that when the stresses of life expose the sin inside me He is using it as an opportunity to purity my life.

Now I often pray,"Lord, the scum is rising to the surface please scrap it off!", and He does.