It would take a miracle for me to forgive

I didn't know I could be so angry. I didn't know that forgiveness was impossible. Why did Jesus teach us to pray "Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors"? I knew the parable Jesus told about servant whose debt was cancelled but refused to have mercy on a fellow servant and was turned over to the tormentor."This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart."Matthew 18:35 I felt like I was being tormented.

Somethings are harder to learn than others. Some lessons are learned as we memorize the facts and apply them other lessons are learned on our knees through a veil of tears. For me learning how to forgive was done on my knees. This is a lesson I am still learning.

"In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. Ephesians 4: 26,27 " I will never be able to sleep again!", I thought. I didn't want to be angry I wanted to forgive but my emotions were holding me hostage. My prayer went something like this,"I don't know what you want me to do! I don't know how to obey you! God, please help me!"

God hears our prayers and answers us in our confusion. First, I began to understand that in order to cancel a debt I had to acknowledge that there was a debt. It was okay for me to fully admit that I had been wronged. Next I had to forgive as God had forgiven me. That's what I found impossible to do.

Philippians 2:12 tells us to," work out our salvation with fear and trembling." This is exactly were I found myself in my journey to forgiveness. I didn't want to be the unmerciful servant in Jesus' parable, I didn't want to give the devil a foothold and I didn't know how to honestly forgive. I knew it would take a miracle and it did. Verse 13 says, "for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose."

There was only one solution I had to ask God's help. "This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that he hears us -whatever we ask -we know that we have what we have asked of Him". 1 John 5:14,15 He came to my rescue He answered my prayer.

There are things in this life that it takes a miracle to forgive but that miracle  is available upon request.