"I was never allowed to express negative emotions as a child and now I don't know how." This is what a friend recently told me. I was allowed to express negative emotions as a child and I still struggle with knowing how to do it. Why?
I think there is the fear that if I really explore how black the darkness is or how deep the brokenness is I will find no remedy. I think this why some parents don't allow their children to express their negative emotions, the parents just don't know how to make it right.
I find my relief in God's Word. He verbalized the darkest fears and entered into the deepest brokenness. "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, from the words of my groaning? O my God, I cry by day, but you do not answer, and by night, but I find no rest." Psalm 22:1,2
"Use your words." This is an instruction I have heard parents give little children. But sometimes I can't find the words to express the dark emtions that I feel. I find in these verses God reaching out His hand and inviting me to honestly explore the depths of my fears and giving me words to express my anger and confusion.
I also am amazed to find these words in Jesus' mouth as He hung dieing on the cross. Because of His love for me He entered into my darkness and my brokenness so that I could enter into His light and wholeness.
One of the Psalms I use to comfort myself is Psalm 23, the one that follows Psalm 22. Isn't that interesting? I wonder if the deepest comfort is found only after I explore my deepest fears and brokenness letting God put the words into my mouth.
Lord Jesus, thank you that when I go into the blackness of the night and face my fears I find I am not alone. You chose to bear my griefs and carry my sorrows, because of You though I enter the darkness I don't stay there.
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