Lemons

"You cut the lemon wrong." Everything within me rises up in my defense. My reputation as a lemon cutter is at stake. "I cut the lemons the way you showed me", I explained.  However, the lemons in question had a very thick rind and were lacking in pulp and didn't look right. "No, you cut the lemons wrong." "Perhaps you're right", I walk away in false humility but real anger.

I think of anger like stepping in chewing gun on a hot pavement. Once you step in it it's stuck to your shoe in a gooey mess and is very hard to get rid of. Seldom, no I think never is a better word, do I set out to step in melting chewing gum but it happens all the same. I never choose to be angry. I hate the emotion but then suddenly there it is and I have to deal with the anger just like I have to deal with the sticky gum on my shoe.

The comment about the lemons, nor the person who made it, was the real  source of my anger. I have heard that anger is a natural emotion we feel when we are threaten. So what in the world was so threatening about being told I cut the lemons wrong. It was a treat to my pride. Don't mess with my pride!

Anger is strong. Anger is powerful. I think of anger like a weed that is able to split the concert side walk. Anger  is a warning. It is not in itself wrong. But it is a tool to tell us something is wrong. My problem was not cutting lemons wrong my problem was with my pride.

Anger is a God given emotion it is not a bad thing  how I deal with this emotion is another story. I am uncomfortable with the emotion of anger. I don't know what to do with it. I particularly don't like when it exposes something negative about me like pride.

Dear Lord,here I am again struggling with the negative feelings I have when my life bumps against the lives of others. Please take this emotion that You created me with and use it like sandpaper on my soul please conform me into the image of Your Son.