Victory over despair

It came in like a suffocating fog seeping in the cracks. Before I knew it my mind was blinded by negative thoughts. The negative thoughts became negative words that polluted every thing I said and hurt everyone I spoke to. I felt afraid and vulnerable nothing seemed safe. In every situation I could only think of the worst case scenario.

There was a battle going on in my mind. Suddenly I remembered a Bible verse,"Let no unwholesome word come out of your mouth..." That was the beginning of victory over despair. Next came the verse mingled with my prayer, "Lord, please let the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be acceptable in Your sight." A shaft of light a ray of hope I would by God's grace not be crippled by my depressing thoughts and words.

At 3 A.M. lying in bed physically, mental, emotionally vulnerable the attack came again. Dark black thoughts shaded every thing around and within me. "In the night season I will remember You I will meditate on You the through the watches of the night." I put on my robe and went out to sit on my porch and focus my mind on God. I saw the full moon, I saw in it's reflection the beauty of nature, I heard the sound of a Whipper Will. I began to rehearse the many blessings I had received from God. The light came, darkness again was repelled. I went back into the house and fell into a deep restful sleep.

When I woke up this morning I was thinking about Psalm 22:3. It talks about how God inhabits the praises of His People. In researching this Psalm I found the story of a man who had gone through a bone marrow transplant. He talked about the depression that haunted him in his isolation until he remembered Psalm 22:3. He began to sing praises to God and the grip of despair released its hold on his heart.

Father, today please help me remember that praising You causes prison doors to swing open. Your light and truth gives victory over despair.